Don't You Just Love It?

You're with everyone at home, on a Monday.
It's already 10am, but the cold breeze masks the sun's heat, making you think it's still 6.
You have the most valid excuse to sleep all day, to pig out, and to demand for gifts.
You meet with good old pals, after a year or more of no communication.
Everyone attempts to help, give, and love more than usual.

Christmas, you have one avid fan right here. :)

*done blabbing.

Only The Phinest

Most of the time, it's because I want to or because I have to.

Sometimes I ignore or forget - but today, I was reminded of one of the reasons why I work for and as Phi.



It's for them, and for Him up above. :)

*done blabbing.

Happy 40th, Auntie Gil! :)

Just arrived home from a 2-day, 2-night stay at Renaissance hotel with the whole family.

I was very stressed the day before because of the second NeuroPsych exam, and it really was a much, much needed break. Grabe, Makati life! I had a dip in the pool, the comfort of going to Greenbelt in a few steps, the best-est buffet meal ever, and the chance to pretend that life was THAT great and easy. It was truly a short escape from the small horrors of my world. :)

But it really isn't the food or the way of life that made me happy at the end of it all, but the thought that 1. I was with my family. and 2. I have one aunt who is willing to make such an effort to make everyone else happy, on her own birthday. :)

Happy birthday, Auntie Gil! You know we all love you. :)

*done blabbing.

Only On A Night Prior to An Exam-Free Week..

..can you see Kathleen, June and Kris giggling over Pride and Prejudice, Serine Facebook-ing, and Ceej sleeping soundly. :P

I love long weekends! :D

*done blabbing.

How to Save A Life? Have a Dress Made. :D

Choose from the masterpieces of Greenbelt 5 in-house Filipino designers, and help save the lives of patients from the Department of Internal Medicine of the Philippine General Hospital


AC+632
Amina Aranaz (Aranaz)
Arnel Papa
Butch Carungay (Atelier Avatar)
Vittorio Barba (Barba)
Michi Calica-Sotto, Emi Jorge and Elena Bautista (Bonne Bouche)
Cesar Gaupo (Gaupo)
Jun Escario
Kate Torralba
Lulu Tan Gan (L Manila)
Randy Ortiz, Ivarluski Aseron, Dennis Lustico, Jojie Lloren, Henri Calayag,
Jing Monis, and Doltz Pilar (Myth)
Patrice Ramos-Diaz (Paradi)
Choc and Yvette Religioso


Brought to you by

Sagip Buhay Medical Foundation, Inc.

and the

Phi Lambda Delta Sorority

Outta Reach

Nakakainis yung pakiramdam habang nasa ilalim ka ng Sky Garden habang nagtitilian yung mga tao dahil nasa taas si David Cook. Tapos, pagbaba pa niya, kamay lang niya ang makikita mo. At yung napakaraming camera sa paligid. At yung papaalis na black van.

Perfect example ng katagang so near yet so far. Haha. :)

*done blabbing.

Mails

After my 3+-hour-long exam for applicants at Ahead Katipunan last Friday, I decided to wait for and go home with Charles who was finishing his thesis in Diliman. Since they weren't still done when I arrived, I went to the main lib to kill time. I grabbed a couple of books which seemed interesting and one of the books I got was The Oxford Book of Letters. It was a collection of letters mostly written by popular people (some were written for popular people while others were simply witty).

.

Some, like this one, were actually heartbreaking;

.

To Venetia Stanley, 12 May 1913

.

Asquith broke of the letter he was writing when he received Venetia's letter announcing her engagement, and wrote this one instead.

.

Most Loved,

As you know well, this breaks my heart.

I couldn't bear to come and see you.

I can only pray to God to bless you - and help me.

Yours.

.

some were funny;

.

To Princess Bibesco, 24 March 1921

.

Katherine Mansfield was the wife of critic John Murry. Murry was having an affair with the Princess. Mansfield did not object to the affair, only to the letters.

.

Dear Princess Bibesco,

I am afraid you must stop writing these little love letters to my husband while he and I live together. It is one of the things which is not done in our world.

You are very young. Won't you ask your husband to explain to you the impossibility of such a situation.

Please do not make me have to write to you again. I do not like scolding people and I simply hate having to teach them manners.

Yours sincerely,

Katherine Mansfield.

.

most would force out an 'awww'.

.

To H.G. Wells, 12 September 1943

.

Wells was an old friend and opponent of Shaw. Shaw had been very tactless in his dealings with Wells when in 1937, Jane Wells was dying of cancer. Charlotte was Shaw's wife.

.

Charlotte died this morning at 2:30. You saw what she had become when you last visited us: an old woman bowed and crippled, furrowed and wrinkled, and greatly distressed by hallucinations of crowds in the room, evil persons, and animals. Also by breathlessness, as the osteitis closed on her lungs. She got steadily worse: the prognosis was terrible, ending with double pneumonia.

But on Friday evening a miracle began. Her troubles vanished. Her visions ceased. Her furrows and wrinkles smoothened out. Forty years fell off her like a garment. She had thirty hours of happiness and heaven. Even after her last breath she shed another twenty years, and now lies young and incredibly beautiful. I have to go in and look at her and talk affectionately to her. I did not know I could be so moved.

Do not tell a soul until Thursday when all will be over. I could not stand flowers and letters and a crowd at Golders Green.

G.B.S.

.

It may seem weird but I actually envy their having very few options of how to communicate. I have always loved receiving handwritten letters (have a small sack full of them!) and I guess I will always do. :)

*done blabbing.

On Being a Little Boozed Up

Last last Thursday.

To be able to celebrate the adjournment of candidacies and exams, One Phine Day decided to spend the night out in Makati. After dinner at Abe c/o Dindin, JF, Tomi, Mikka and Migz, some of us (including moi) wanted to just go home and rest since it was already pretty late. May and Nic, however, still wanted to stay out (and have fun!) so they proposed that we go to Pier1, a restobar at the Fort.

After all the walking, the talking, the calling for and pushing of drinks, the drinking, and talking and drinking, and talking and drinking, I suddenly felt that I could no longer hold my head straight up. Shucks, Im tipsy, I thought. I was completely aware of what was happening around me though, so I wasn't sure if my lightheadedness was due to my going overboard with drinking or to merely my being sleepy. Whichever. All I know was that I badly wanted to throw up (but I can't!) and I did NOT want to do anything I might regret later.

And so the night ended. For me, at least. With the help of my dear brods and sisses, I managed to go to Mikka's and sleep soundly, still dirty and smelly but safe nonetheless. The following morning I still did not feel completely well, and instead of listening to the long lectures, I was recounting then what happened to me the night before.

Perhaps what happened to me wasn't new at all for others, but it was for me, and it sort of affected me. It was my first time to feel that way after drinking (well, it was only my second time to take in that much alcohol) and I was disappointed because, if you know me, you'll know that I have always disputed drinking. I realized that it was sooo hard to resist the egging on of your company in those kind of situations and that it was sooo easy to lose control over your actions when you are tipsy but it is NOT inevitable (or siguro kulang pa yung nainom ko. :P).

On the other hand, I know for a fact that the prodding of Jason, JF, Clint and Kevin wasnt the sole reason why I drank two bottles of Gilbey's, one glass of wengweng and another of kamikaze. For one, since I have never gone that far, I actually did want to test my limit. :P Secondly, I trust the people I am with, so much that I loosened my grip and let go a little.

My confidence to these people wasn't put to waste. Although I was groggy at that time, I remember very well that Joshua drank the last few gulps of my second Gilbey's bottle to spare me from the additional alcohol. Nil gladly offered his shoulder while sharing something he wouldn't have shared to me if he knew I wasn't drunk. :P CJ accompanied me to the bathroom, at the corner table and to the car on the way home. She even made sure I was fine in the car before joining the others. Pat, Panic, Ace and a few other girls encouraged me to try to barf so that I could feel a little better. Nic also (and another person na di ko na matandaan!) offered a glass of water so as to help me get rid of the booze. Jason, JF, Clint, Mik, Pat and Marisse incessantly asked if Im ok. JF lent his hand on the way out of Pier1 and his car to drive us home. Kevin and Alex were in the car with us on our way back to Manila. Alex put up with my swaying and accompanied me all the way to Mikka's couch. I found out the morning after that Mikka set up the fan for us and that Rita held back her desire to take a picture of me while I was sleeping with my party dress on. And to fill my gratitude to the brim, Charles was there the next day to listen to my boring stories and to be with me on my way home. :)

Although I have said that I am saying no to alcohol from now on (or if it is inescapable, Ill only have one bottle or glass of whatever is offered to me), on the back of my head, I will always know that I can and might loosen up a bit, that is, if I'm with OPD. :)

*done blabbing.

1:10 on a Sunday Morning

I've been cramming a lot lately - and that may mean forcing too much food into my mouth or too much names into my head.

***

I think the mere existence of fraternities and sororities in the college unearths bravery from students, because it requires all to choose. And it does take bravery to make a stand, whatever it is.

*done blabbing.

Woozy

It has been recently reiterated (quite often) that med school IS NOT all about the acads.

I'm all for the orgs, don't be mistaken (I really have no plans of obssessing over books :P) but it is the what that confuses me. And the which. And the when.

*done blabbing.

Undreamed-ofs

It did not occur to me, not even for a fraction of a second, that I’ll be attempting to step into a modelling venture. Never.

But I did, last Thursday. Two weeks ago, my Tita Vicky, well known in the family for her being our ticket holder to beauty pageants and the like, convinced my parents to let us join a month-long, dancing, acting and ramp modelling workshop. On the word of her, everything is already set – clothes are sponsored, designers were already hired, venues were all previously booked for us – we just have to pass an application form and join. We agreed, thinking there’ll be no better way to spend May, anyway.

Dressed oh-so casually, we went to SM North, last April 26, carrying only our pens. With me are my two sisters and a friend who was talked into joining too. Filing of the application form was set to be at Cinema 9. While walking our way to the said place, we were talking about what we expect to see. We’re all imagining the inside of the theater to be adorned with perhaps one or two tables and a number chairs, filled with a few people who apparently have also heard the whisper that there’ll be a modelling workshop. No worries, we thought, we just have to write, nevertheless.

All of us were stunned when we turned around the corner of the hall towards Cinema 9. What was standing before us, on the passageway outside the theater, was a long, high ramp, surrounded by towering lights and speakers. There were more or less a hundred, fully made-up models seated on rows of chairs on the side of the ramp. Most of them were assisted by whom we presumed as their managers and all ladies were on heels, ready to strut. All of us instantly chickened out and decided to walk instead on the hallways of The Block, despite the fact that our Tita kept on texting us, insisting on showing our faces to her.

Later on the same day, my mom was able to talk to my tita at a dinner party. She explained that the filing of application form is actually the initial screening wherein the models have to walk and be interviewed by the panel of judges. She stressed again that the workshop will be a great opportunity for us to remodel our timid personalities and assured that we may again try to audition, this time with no ramp modelling, only with an interview. So after all the reconsiderations, we finally signed application forms, showed our faces to the organizers and was told to return for the final screening on the first of May, this time warned that we need to prepare ourselves for we really have to walk on stage.

I really do not want to recount the horrors of our debut on stage (ha, ha), so to cut the story short, after 6 hours of standing and marching on heels, Tricia and I were included in the selected twenty from a group of sixty. So now, after the contract signing last Sunday, the kick-off party last Monday and the announcement that we’ll have a make-over and a pictorial this week, I’m establishing the fact that my last month before med school is going to be one crazy hell of a ride. ;)

Just when I thought there are enough unforeseeable events already, my Dad asked last Thursday if Charles may want to drive his (my Dad’s) car for us girls and join the family in our overnight excursion in Tagaytay. Without hesitation, he said yes, so I was with him for the longest time last week. ♥♥♥

*done blabbing.

Career Day

So as to obtain all the requirements for my physical exam on Monday, my destination for this afternoon was a modest hospital near our town. I went with my dad who works there as a clinician (clinician = 20% off on the services! hehe). When we arrived, he asked someone to accompany me in going to the different departments – Radiology, Laboratory, Pediatrics – so that he can stay in his office and do follow-ups. Luckily I was able to bear all the examinations without shedding a tear (I was told before that the PPD exam, which involves an intradermal shot, can be quite painful.=/), but I still could not endure looking at the needle as it penetrates my skin, more so at the blood as it leaves my body. :( I know that I should stop closing my eyes like a little girl and actually start staring intently to see how they do it but I guess it does take time to be at ease with things like that (for me, at least).

Afterwards, I met up with my dad and accompanied him in his last lookover for the day. We entered a patient’s room and there I saw a lady, looking exceedingly slender. Her neck and back are swollen and her breasts are uneven. I gathered during the visit that she has breast cancer and a number of cysts in her neck. Her lungs are filled with water produced by the cancer cells so she finds it awfully hard to breathe. Earlier, my dad performed an operation wherein he removed 1L of water using a needle, but xray results showed that there was no change in the amount of water in the lungs. My dad therefore suggested that a tube be temporarily attached to the lungs so that there’ll be a continuous water expulsion. The husband of the lady responded with a pag-uusapan ho muna namin, salamat po and then we left.

Right after the door was closed behind me did I start asking questions: Bakit hindi mo tanggalin yung tumor, bakit hindi mo tanggalin yung cysts, bakit kailangan pa nilang pag-isipan yung tube placement kung yun lang ang paraan para guminhawa siya..? Only after my dad said, wala na silang pera e, did things start to make complete sense. I realized there was very little hope left for the lady: as long as the tumor is there, the fluid would not stop blocking the airways, and if they could not afford even the temporary remedy, the tumor stays where it is. It was quite shattering; I remained quiet as we were leaving the hospital. I guess my dad heard through the silence because he blurted out, You’ll be facing more devastating cases anak, you have to learn to separate yourself from your emotions, especially when you are facing the patient.

What the hell, I thought. Earlier I realized that I have to be at ease with hurting, now I have to learn to be insensitive. Splendid.

But then again, (This is my favourite beginning of a sentence. Starting off a statement with it means opening up the good side of things. ;) ) deep inside, I know that there is more to just the puncture or the indifference - the pricking aids in the furtherance of a person’s health, and the apathy is actually a way of giving hope to a patient. It amazed me to think that my dad’s being completely clear of emotions during the visit sort of made the case typical, kind of like saying This is the disease, this is the cure, be strong, you will get through this.

The exams, the hell weeks, I can get to grips with. But those - the more devastating cases - sadly, I can not imagine myself (who cries still every time I watch The Notebook) being strong enough to handle.

Blimey, I have LOADS more to learn. -_-
*done blabbing.

AI Buzz

Too bad David Archuleta's only 17. -_-

*done blabbing.

From Local Andalasia

Finally, a trip awaaay from home. :)

My dear Charles has to go through 240 hours of internship in a Toyota establishment in Laguna this summer, so to compensate for the little time left for us, we spent the whole day together yesterday in Enchanted Kingdom. (If you are shocked that I was allowed to go, don’t worry, I was too. I was given a go signal even if I asked for permission only on the same day.)

I was very, very excited that I was all giddy during the trip going to Laguna (as in silly-giddy, in short, loka.) Understandable, of course, because 1. it has been a looooong time since I last went to EK 2. I wasn’t able to join Ceej and company on their trip 3. I was stuck at home for the longest time and 4. it’s my first out-of-town excursion with him. He may have laughed at me for my being too eager but I know, and I’ll bet all my fingers on it, that he was way more thrilled than I was. :D (haha)

There has been a switch in the roles when we arrived – I was already the one laughing at him. :P I have come to know that I am more keen on rides (haha, peace tayo! <3) but I am grateful, for he allowed himself to be swayed into climbing onto the rides that he dreaded. :P

After so many picture-taking, and walking, and screaming, and laughing (and laughing, and laughing), we went home with our heads spinning, our feet tired, our clothes wet, our pockets empty and our hearts happy. ;)

The trip was definitely a noteworthy first. Am hoping it won’t be the last. ;)

*done blabbing.

Home Sweet Home

I am mostly homebound since summer’s onset and here I am again finding the good in things. If there’s good in my tarrying at home, it is definitely the longer time spent with my family.

My first classes last semester start at 7am. I was in the habit of eating alone every five in the morning, leaving even before the sun rises, spending my day in school, arriving home late during the day and spending the rest of the day sleeping or studying. In short, there was actually very little time to mingle, and every time I take a while in front of the TV with my siblings, I’d end up feeling guilty afterwards for neglecting to devotedly spend my time on productive work.

But now for almost two weeks, things have been quite different. Wholly, actually. I hang out with my brothers, sisters and cousin most of the time (so I’m in with all the latest rumors about each of them, haha). They all have been sleeping snugly in my small room (with additional cushions on the floor) after watching dvd’s every night (Imagine the five of us in a room made exactly just for one.) I get to spend time with my sisters in the court; with my brothers in the mall. I am grateful for the fact that we are able to pray the rosary together every night. And perhaps this is a little too much exaltation, but I am also thankful that I now eat every meal of the day at home with everyone else here. :)

I knew this, but I have been recently reminded that I have indeed missed a lot. ;) TGIS! Thank goodness there is always time to mend things and catch up. :)

*done blabbing.

Shhhh

May sikreto ako.. :)

*done blabbing.

SOS

Oh, the irony of life, I am bored to death. I haven't done anything since last Sunday, which is the start of my summer vacation. Except maybe, lie down and watch the adventures Detective Conan.

I actually envy my bestfriend who is groaning about her summer classes. :P (Haha, ang labo ko talaga) I think it's okei to go to school during summer IF, and only if, you have easy-to-handle subjects (kung meron man nun). At least you have a goal AND allowance for every single day.

Also, I haven't been out on a real outing. :( I missed my planned EK trip last Monday. Our trip to Antipolo for Tuesday was cancelled (fortunately, I still enjoyed the day with my bestfriend at the mall). My next hope is my high school class' outing tomorrow, which I doubt I could attend, because I really don't have someone to go with (err, someone I'm uber comfy with).

I need 1. Good books. 2. Trips away from home. 3. Cold, hard cash for trips away from home. 4. Summer job for money for trips away from home. ;)

***

I'm currently listening to Incubus' I Wish You Were Here.
I really do wish you are. ;)

*done blabbing.

Not Quite, Just About

I’m almost there. :)

NMAT results have come out. And with it came phone calls and letters from medical schools.
People have been talking about lasts – the last CAS class, last PE course, last CAS exam. We even had our last class-party a while ago.
I’ve been measured for my all-white uniform (which, if you’re reading my blog, you’ll know, I’ve been eyeing since the very first sem).
Our younger buddies gave send-off gifts to us.
Nil actually said goodbye to the Milo vendor in CAS. :P
Sororities have suddenly known my nickname.
Class 2013, which I’ve been accustomed to just having 34 students, is now listed everywhere composed of a hundred and fifty-nine.

These are actually reasons to get excited OR be scared. -_-

I swear, I will be a total idler this summer. :P (Though I would be very, very (very!) glad to receive donations for payment for driving lessons. :P)


*done blabbing.

O, kamusta?

If I manage to bump into someone I haven’t seen in quite a while and he asks me this question, what would I say?

Let’s see... I’m good, I shall start to say. I’ll add that he’s pretty lucky to bump into me, because I’m hard to find these days. Of course, I’ll continue by saying I’m kidding, seriously, I’ve just been busy.

I’ve heard, after the third sem, that the least toxic sem is the last. It’s not true, believe me. Every sem’s set to make you look a little older than your age, hehe. I’ve stayed up till wee hours in the morning, I’ve overslept and missed classes for staying up till wee hours in the morning. I’ve been through hell weeks and back. It was not, at all, easy.

The most demanding of the courses I took is embryology. I have an Umbridge-like professor who never went to school without matching shoes and accessories. She was the first professor who was bothered by the fact that we are not getting good grades, so she nagged, shouted and put a lot of pressure. But then, she was one of the firsts who cared, actually. We probably hated it, but it is her anxiety that drove us to put more effort on the course than what we intended to allot. I actually learned a lot from that subject. I might have managed to hate the microscope after that course, but then I was also secretly awed by every process of development that we discussed. I came across a line in our book, and this is probably the only one that made me stop and think. “The construction of an organ that perceives, thinks, loves, hates, remembers, changes, fools itself, and coordinates our conscious and unconscious bodily processes is undoubtedly the most challenging of all developmental enigmas.” And we have God to thank for it. :) It is the most exhaustive, really, but it is also the most memorable.

Amidst all the sciences - physics, chemistry, biology - the arts have been part of the sem too. I’ve acted both in a movie, as a pregnant teenager, and in a one-act play, as a rape victim. I’ve been a Backstreet boy, have sung Bossa Nova, have rapped and have been in a fake commercial. I might’ve whined a lot about why I needed to do all those, but the feeling of accomplishment after every feat has always made me eat my words.

I’ve been to places too. We immersed ourselves in the community, buried our toes in the beach, went to various health units and enjoyed a medical museum, all for courses that required us to. Those were our short detox moments. :) Pathetic, yes, but I’m grateful for them, for it was during those moments that I managed to fleetingly get away.

My driving forces and my comforts are the people around me. In school, I have my friends who were always there to share with me all the perks and pitfalls. After leaving school, I still have other friends who constantly say ‘hello’ and ‘how are you’ to remind me that they are still there - maybe not physically- but are still there. When I get home, I have a huge, noisy family to share the rest of my day with. And of course, I have my blessing, who is always willing to lend an ear, to accompany, to encourage and support, to be foolish and have fun, to remind me that all is or will be well and to make me feel loved and whole.

I guess I’ve been really busy. But if truth be told, I do not regret having this kind of life, because it taught me to grow up. It taught me to see the world for what it is and to continue hoping for betterment. It taught me to value both the things I always and the things I infrequently have. It made my knees stronger, for I know very well that they will be beaten up next year. And when you really think about it, an arduous life is what brings out, maybe even the worst, but most of the time, the best, in a person. :)

Ikaw, how are you? :)

*done blabbing.

"Tambayan Para sa Lahat"

Im sitting now at a tambayan beside the tennis court, with CJ, Nil and Pat talking, laughing and bickering about school and stuff. :)

Wala lang. It is my first time to surf the web via WiFi connection (no, you're not getting it all wrong, the date is really January 23, 2008) Haha, finally. :)

***

My first first-cousin on my mommy's side said hello to the world two hours ago. :) Very excited to see all 7.5 pounds of him later, hehe. :)

***

Biochem yesterday was a little boring so Cedes was able to enjoy a short nap during the discussion. Written on the top of a page of her open notebook was
STS Movie
STS Report
Biochem Exam
He won't give you anything you can't handle.

I needed this reminder, not because of school but because of.. things. I really do, and I believe my family does too. :)

***

Mas mahal ko siya kung laptop siya. Haha. :)

*done blabbing.