Career Day

So as to obtain all the requirements for my physical exam on Monday, my destination for this afternoon was a modest hospital near our town. I went with my dad who works there as a clinician (clinician = 20% off on the services! hehe). When we arrived, he asked someone to accompany me in going to the different departments – Radiology, Laboratory, Pediatrics – so that he can stay in his office and do follow-ups. Luckily I was able to bear all the examinations without shedding a tear (I was told before that the PPD exam, which involves an intradermal shot, can be quite painful.=/), but I still could not endure looking at the needle as it penetrates my skin, more so at the blood as it leaves my body. :( I know that I should stop closing my eyes like a little girl and actually start staring intently to see how they do it but I guess it does take time to be at ease with things like that (for me, at least).

Afterwards, I met up with my dad and accompanied him in his last lookover for the day. We entered a patient’s room and there I saw a lady, looking exceedingly slender. Her neck and back are swollen and her breasts are uneven. I gathered during the visit that she has breast cancer and a number of cysts in her neck. Her lungs are filled with water produced by the cancer cells so she finds it awfully hard to breathe. Earlier, my dad performed an operation wherein he removed 1L of water using a needle, but xray results showed that there was no change in the amount of water in the lungs. My dad therefore suggested that a tube be temporarily attached to the lungs so that there’ll be a continuous water expulsion. The husband of the lady responded with a pag-uusapan ho muna namin, salamat po and then we left.

Right after the door was closed behind me did I start asking questions: Bakit hindi mo tanggalin yung tumor, bakit hindi mo tanggalin yung cysts, bakit kailangan pa nilang pag-isipan yung tube placement kung yun lang ang paraan para guminhawa siya..? Only after my dad said, wala na silang pera e, did things start to make complete sense. I realized there was very little hope left for the lady: as long as the tumor is there, the fluid would not stop blocking the airways, and if they could not afford even the temporary remedy, the tumor stays where it is. It was quite shattering; I remained quiet as we were leaving the hospital. I guess my dad heard through the silence because he blurted out, You’ll be facing more devastating cases anak, you have to learn to separate yourself from your emotions, especially when you are facing the patient.

What the hell, I thought. Earlier I realized that I have to be at ease with hurting, now I have to learn to be insensitive. Splendid.

But then again, (This is my favourite beginning of a sentence. Starting off a statement with it means opening up the good side of things. ;) ) deep inside, I know that there is more to just the puncture or the indifference - the pricking aids in the furtherance of a person’s health, and the apathy is actually a way of giving hope to a patient. It amazed me to think that my dad’s being completely clear of emotions during the visit sort of made the case typical, kind of like saying This is the disease, this is the cure, be strong, you will get through this.

The exams, the hell weeks, I can get to grips with. But those - the more devastating cases - sadly, I can not imagine myself (who cries still every time I watch The Notebook) being strong enough to handle.

Blimey, I have LOADS more to learn. -_-
*done blabbing.

AI Buzz

Too bad David Archuleta's only 17. -_-

*done blabbing.

From Local Andalasia

Finally, a trip awaaay from home. :)

My dear Charles has to go through 240 hours of internship in a Toyota establishment in Laguna this summer, so to compensate for the little time left for us, we spent the whole day together yesterday in Enchanted Kingdom. (If you are shocked that I was allowed to go, don’t worry, I was too. I was given a go signal even if I asked for permission only on the same day.)

I was very, very excited that I was all giddy during the trip going to Laguna (as in silly-giddy, in short, loka.) Understandable, of course, because 1. it has been a looooong time since I last went to EK 2. I wasn’t able to join Ceej and company on their trip 3. I was stuck at home for the longest time and 4. it’s my first out-of-town excursion with him. He may have laughed at me for my being too eager but I know, and I’ll bet all my fingers on it, that he was way more thrilled than I was. :D (haha)

There has been a switch in the roles when we arrived – I was already the one laughing at him. :P I have come to know that I am more keen on rides (haha, peace tayo! <3) but I am grateful, for he allowed himself to be swayed into climbing onto the rides that he dreaded. :P

After so many picture-taking, and walking, and screaming, and laughing (and laughing, and laughing), we went home with our heads spinning, our feet tired, our clothes wet, our pockets empty and our hearts happy. ;)

The trip was definitely a noteworthy first. Am hoping it won’t be the last. ;)

*done blabbing.

Home Sweet Home

I am mostly homebound since summer’s onset and here I am again finding the good in things. If there’s good in my tarrying at home, it is definitely the longer time spent with my family.

My first classes last semester start at 7am. I was in the habit of eating alone every five in the morning, leaving even before the sun rises, spending my day in school, arriving home late during the day and spending the rest of the day sleeping or studying. In short, there was actually very little time to mingle, and every time I take a while in front of the TV with my siblings, I’d end up feeling guilty afterwards for neglecting to devotedly spend my time on productive work.

But now for almost two weeks, things have been quite different. Wholly, actually. I hang out with my brothers, sisters and cousin most of the time (so I’m in with all the latest rumors about each of them, haha). They all have been sleeping snugly in my small room (with additional cushions on the floor) after watching dvd’s every night (Imagine the five of us in a room made exactly just for one.) I get to spend time with my sisters in the court; with my brothers in the mall. I am grateful for the fact that we are able to pray the rosary together every night. And perhaps this is a little too much exaltation, but I am also thankful that I now eat every meal of the day at home with everyone else here. :)

I knew this, but I have been recently reminded that I have indeed missed a lot. ;) TGIS! Thank goodness there is always time to mend things and catch up. :)

*done blabbing.

Shhhh

May sikreto ako.. :)

*done blabbing.

SOS

Oh, the irony of life, I am bored to death. I haven't done anything since last Sunday, which is the start of my summer vacation. Except maybe, lie down and watch the adventures Detective Conan.

I actually envy my bestfriend who is groaning about her summer classes. :P (Haha, ang labo ko talaga) I think it's okei to go to school during summer IF, and only if, you have easy-to-handle subjects (kung meron man nun). At least you have a goal AND allowance for every single day.

Also, I haven't been out on a real outing. :( I missed my planned EK trip last Monday. Our trip to Antipolo for Tuesday was cancelled (fortunately, I still enjoyed the day with my bestfriend at the mall). My next hope is my high school class' outing tomorrow, which I doubt I could attend, because I really don't have someone to go with (err, someone I'm uber comfy with).

I need 1. Good books. 2. Trips away from home. 3. Cold, hard cash for trips away from home. 4. Summer job for money for trips away from home. ;)

***

I'm currently listening to Incubus' I Wish You Were Here.
I really do wish you are. ;)

*done blabbing.